Who made the rules up , I ask
No one, everyone just knows them,, everyone but me…
Can you imagine for one minute driving down a highway with no posted speed limit signs. You might find yourself falling back to what the rules of the highway most places you visit are. But, now imagine not only are there no posted speed limit signs , the real speed limit changes every 5 feet. Are you a little hesitant to press the accelerator?
Now imagine this- if you don’t follow the speed limit
-your best friend will never speak to you again.
people will laugh at you
you will loose your job
- you will be bullied
- you will no longer be allowed to live independent
- you will not be accepted by many people
people will study you and try to figure you out
people will get angry at you and accuse you of not following the speed on purpose
- you will be called disabled.
This, is a little of what it is like for Autistics when they face social interactions. Knowing unspoken rules is NOT something we know. Somewhere in my childhood I must have missed this lesson.
Some Autistic may find it difficult to maintain a conversation, they may not know where to stand or even how to stand. They may find it difficult knowing when someone is beginning a conversation with them or wanting to end one.
100 % of the time I am listening to what people say literally.
There is a long time debate in our home about my children saying they are starving. It instantly sends me into panic because I believe they are literally starving while they are meaning they are “very hungry”
So I’m sure you can imagine how that would affect how I see the world at times. It’s a frightening place and this is where the need for routine and rituals come in. It is our safe place to be. The place where we know what to expect and we know the rules. Repetitive body movements sooth the soul and yes ultimately there is Not a lot of room left for communication.
Did you know 90 % of Autistics report being bullied compared to 56 % of other pupils.
(ok so this quote has never made sense to me? Who throws rocks at things that shine literally?)
So as parents and caregivers of Autistics they teach the child how to respond to bullying. I know I wish so badly my grandparents had taught me social skills , how to communicate and how to interact with others. But the rules seem to be like the wind.
Felt by many but never seen by anyone.
Mark Twain said Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
I will add to that..
Kindness is the language the deaf can hear, the blind can see and the Autistic can understand