They are the secret Angels of comfort, the messengers of an eternal life because their hope is build on the fabric of their very being and their purpose.

Something I am a real believer in is sharing the big moments in life, be it joy or suffering and finding a greater meaning in them.

Loss of a child (no matter the age of the child) is one of life’s greatest tragedies.


I find it difficult only 3 weeks past when this inexplicable , indescribable event happened in my life.

When I was a young 17 year old I lost a child. I named her Emily. Her spirit has been woven into our family traditions and life story. I made sure of it. I was not going to let her be a forgotten part of our family. To recall the sadness I felt deep in my soul back then is very difficult for me and to this day I am not even quite sure how life turned what was ashes into my life into joy. However when I think of Emily it brings me great joy.

Now I am 44, just turned 44 and the pain has revisited, but this time it isn’t any less. I’m not handling it any better than I did when I was oh so young.

I am a mother and my child was not born to earth but rather to eternal life.

Pain and suffering always looks so much larger when it stands in front of our face. Death is a shadow that constantly is there reminding us all, we don’t really belong here on earth and one day it will move closer. As mothers we scream at death with the instinct of a lion or a bear and roar at it to stay away from our children. We will literally throw ourselves into deaths arms just to save our child. But sometimes it is not us that death comes for is our child

Perhaps in these moments A woman who looses a child is really  being touched by heaven and called to be messengers of comfort

This is

The first seed of hope that has made itself present in my life.

Romans 5:1-21

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. …

I have spoken  to a lot of people about child loss. Joined Facebook groups to try and find meaning. Sat in my on quietness in the early mornings and wept. I cried and screamed at God for meaning, because it seemed pointless.

Why the suffering when nothing was born?

One mothers words clearing were the beginning of my journey into once again feeling the grace and goodness of our loving father. It is as though when she said them suddenly a little more made sense.

“It felt like such a senseless loss at the time for me, so being here for you now gives a little bit of meaning to all of that”

My pregnancy was an ectopic pregnancy. The baby did not finish its journey but rather attached to the walls of my fallopian tubes. I’m still in the midst of the storm. ..But

Here i am in all my suffering and someone very very close to my heart only 2 weeks later suffers a miscarriage…and there we are both knowing instantly the others ones pain. I know she is strong, she knows I am strong and yet we both turn to God because we both know He is where the ultimate strength is.

A lot of woman have shared how miscarriage and even ectopic pregnancy are not really spoken about publicly. The journey of grief is a lonely one and very few feel it ok to talk about it openly. It is clearly a taboo subject.

But even still when loss comes to our sisters we weep for their loss.

We cry and pray on kitchen floors, and laundry rooms, on bathroom floors,  in parking lots and on doorsteps, in private emails and phone calls . We share stories of our loss and out emerges beautiful stories of woman who stood in faith after child loss, who understand the pain, the anger, the confusion

…and yet these Mothers clung onto the hope and promise of one day reuniting with their children in heaven.

They clearly understand what it is like to carry a child for a lifetime in their heart

They had endurance over the years, some sharing stories 50 years old..

just to say..Ive walked this path, you will get through this darkness.

They reached out- in secret places of life,  hidden from the public eye and shared their story of loss with a newly grieving mother.

Gods love was poured into her broken shattered heart and a little more meaning was born even if it wasn’t seen or felt at all at the time. The seeds were planted

Perhaps in these moments A woman who looses a child is really  being touched by heaven and called to be messengers of comfort

And why should this be kept away from the public eye?

In the past 3 weeks I’m beginning to realize that is what makes it so beautiful.

Being called to be a mother to a child through a lifetime on this earth is a blessing and an anointing by God himself.

But greater

Loosing a child to miscarriage, or an ectopic pregnancy or still birth is not where the story ends

We are being transformed and called into being messengers of comfort and indeed this is an anointing by God himself


Romans 8: 18

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.


They show us in Secret the Holy Spirit of comfort, They carry the proof of an eternal hope, built on the fabric of there survival.

Isaiah 61:3

To console those who mourn in Zion,

To give them beauty for ashes,

The oil of joy for mourning,

The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;

That they may be called trees of righteousness,

The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”




The overall risk of miscarriage under 12 weeks in known pregnancies is 1 in 5.. About 1 in 100 women

About 1-2% of pregnancies are ectopic.

The Loss  is not the meaning- The Child  is the meaning, what was born inside you is the meaning. 

If you have lost a Child and have reached out to give a grieving mother comfort your child indeed Lives on