Every year we hear stories of families without enough for Christmas and every year I help out as much as I can in giving and sharing joy.
This year however was different..
After my husband had 3 freelancing big jobs not end up paying him we lived on my income alone. Which seemed to be enough to eat and pay the household bills. Christmas this year was looking really sad. I knew it would be a long stretch to buy the kids presents and I also knew buying a turkey dinner might not happen either. With little extra money and a vehicle that needed repairs of over 500 dollars I knew every bit from the very beginning of shopping was going to be tuff.
It would be fair to say my husband has endured the worst of human behavior from some people. “No one likes to hear about money problems” he would tell me “they think its something you did wrong that somehow you cannot manage your life, they loose trust in you and suddenly become superior:
But God doesn’t love anyone any more than anyone else.
What do you do when a client doesn’t pay, when they avoid your calls and spin you lies. How do you tell them “hey I haven’t ate for the last 3 days” Most people say they have no money when really they get panicked when their savings is below 2000.00. What do you do when you have done all you can do but still have gotten no pay…
So I gave up the present part of Christmas and decided I would pray to God for just a Christmas Dinner with my children. A time to fellowship and a time to share love with each other. I prayed specifically for a Christmas dinner that included pickles. Why? My children love pickles but now I am convinced it was a need God wanted to show me he would provide right down to the small details.
Embrace the true spirit of Christmas. I prayed the entire month of September, November and December. Each of these months we managed to pay the bills and survive, but no I still couldn’t see the clear way on how I would put together a Christmas dinner. I fought off negative feelings like you wouldn’t believe. My spirit was tested like never before. The worst of human behavior seemed to surround me and anything bad that could happened seemed to happen, including my husband getting very sick.
Then there was a sign of hope. Someone hired me to do a painting for exactly the price of getting our vehicle fixed. The evening following though they had a family health emergency and time passed while they dealt with that entire tragedy. Be grateful for your health Colleen ..I would hear inside my head )(and truly I am). I can walk and I don’t need the vehicle to walk downtown and pick up a turkey.
Be thankful it isnt snowing yet!- Oh my goodness yes something more to be grateful for. Gods not going to make me walk in a blizzard for a turkey.
By the end of last week I was exhausted. My spirit desperately crying out to God to pull me through this drought. Yes I seemed to be hunting turkeys in the dessert even if it was just on my hands and knees.
And then it happened ..
God provided through the love of 2 great friends and 1 beautiful young lady friend.
Again I’m sure your wondering? Colleen has friends? That’s a long story in itself but for the record I don’t make friends easily. I prayed for real God loving friends for 4 years – another answered prayer. What confused me most is these friends gave to me. They would laugh and say “because thats what friends do”. It was weird at first and I wasn’t sure how to accept. I was so used to being on the giving side. I began to think I was a bad friend because I couldn’t give them a whole lot except my time and love. Having friends previously who demanded I do and be as they wanted or they wouldn’t be my friend anymore made it hard to process that these friends actually loved me for just being me. I had lived through broken friendships where I was not the end all be all to the person and they enjoyed slinging my name through the mud. The love of my new friends reminded me so much of the Gods love I was taught as a child. There is nothing you need to do or be…God just loves you. You cant work your way to heaven with good works. You can’t buy yourself to heaven, you cant earn enough money to get to heaven – oh you can’t earn enough for a turkey or pickles.
Last night I received a huge, I mean huge basket of food. The kinds of foods you cook for a Christmas Dinner. A turkey, potatoes, carrots, cranberry sauce, apples, juice and oh my goodness a jar of pickles. These beautiful friends brought an end to the drought that was literally inside me. The drought of missing Gods love. The kind of love you don’t need to earn and I cried (LITERALLY) It’s pretty much the greatest blessing I have been given in my entire life. I didnt need to be perfect in the eyes of these friends. They have accepted me exactly the way I am– broken, alone and thirsty for people who truly live as an example of the true God and Father I loved so dearly as a child.
I truly can’t thank them enough..
Maybe you feel like you are not good enough for God or maybe you are still trying to win his approval. Let me just say very few understand this real love of God. The world teaches us every day we need to succeed, pay our bills, have a great home, car and occasionally GIVE to charity (because we are helping others right?)Please make your helping Gods kind of help don’t make anyone earn it this Christmas season..
Maybe you are desperate to show Gods love to someone but you don’t have enough money to do that..your in a drought. You are surrounded by people who think its of your own doing. Please remember if you want to show Gods love in this way to others he CAN make it possible.
Even from a jar of pickles.
For by Grace are you saved through Faith….