I waited for a very long time to meet others who were Autistic. I have never felt comfortable in group settings but bravely I gave it a try.
This is the group of FB I joined
I regret it in many ways, but there are a few ways I am grateful for the experience. At first I just read posts. You know what it is like being a new comer , it isn’t easy to bust out talking. After a while I did post about one thing in particular that was hard for me.
Most people treat me as though I am NT. Mostly because of my own doing I am sure because I try to appear as normal as possible.
(this post wasn’t received well by very many..I guess no one could relate to that? They all wanted to be treated normal. Little do they know how hard that is. Imagine having no legs and people treating you as though you do. Of course anyone with any kind of logic should be able to see that. One admin took time to post that everyone Needs to be an advocate for their own selves….Yes true..but I got the distinct feeling there were no warm shoulders or warm fuzzies of understanding in this group. Just a lot of buck up..ya it rubbed me the wrong way.
I continued to try to participate as much as I could but then I started getting friends requests from males trying to hit on me. I let my amazing husband handle those..why?? because I’m an adult and tattling on someone is just childish.. After all I have a block button.
(this last time though— I left the group)
_ Lastly— Someone posted a one line question
What is sex like with and Autistic?
My response was a confused emoji
The next day I returned to this thread to see if anymore had been said…
I was shocked to see my emoji was deleted and in it’s place a post from the admins.- I cannot remember the entire post (and it hurt too much that I bolted from the group without saying anything) but at one spot it said “Please be respectful of others, what is obvious to some is not obvious to others, aggression to other members will not be tolerated”
Wow—Aggressive?? Since when is confusion aggressive?
It was my understanding the group was for Autistics ..ok maybe it wasn’t? But by all responses from admins it appears it was.
I have no clue what sex is like with an Autistic. I am an Autistic. I find that question offensive. It’s like saying What’s sex like with an epileptic? Whats sex like with a dog? Whats sex like with ….(fill in the blank)
This is the conversation with the first admin (the one who deleted my confused face
(ok so that went sort of ok…except she deleted my confused faced based on her own assumption— Hey what can we do when people think they are right?? Let them be I guess
But I curtly wasn’t going to hang around the group anymore lol. Why the heck would I?
This is the conversation with the second admin The NOT SO SUPPORTIVE ONE– Actually in the end the outright abusive one!!
(blocked??? what the hell is she talking about??
and then….she sends me this????
Cut down on my breathing???
I once had someone tell me I am a waste of air I breathe….This…really hurt.
So basically I was confused as to why a question like “What is sex like with an Autistic?
Was called out as being negative and aggressive
then told to go kill myself??
By an admin of a support group for Autistics.
I did make it very clear I would make the conversation public and as you can see …she said GO FOR IT!!!